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I am told that this is in fact true, and I would just love to think so ! We've all met 'em right ? If you've ever worked for a boss who reacts before getting the facts and thinking things through, you will love this! Arcelor-Mittal Steel, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a...

Advertisement In Shop: Guitar, for sale........ Cheap........ .......no strings attached. Ad. In Hospital Waiting Room: Smoking Helps You Lose Weight.... One Lung At A Time! On a bulletin board: Success Is Relative. The more The Success, The more The Relatives. When I Read About The...

Three blondes were all applying for the last available position on the Oceanside Police Force. The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said, “So you all want to be cops, huh?” The blondes all nodded. The detective got up, opened a file drawer, and pulled...

FATHER BUYS A LIE DETECTOR ROBOT > >>>THAT SLAPS PEOPLE WHEN THEY LIE > >>> > >>>He decides to test it out at dinner one night. > >>>The father asks his son what he did that afternoon. > >>>The son says, "I did some schoolwork." > >>>The robot slaps the son. > >>>The son says, "Ok, Ok. I was at...

A man brings his best buddy home for dinner unannounced at 5:30pm after work. His wife screams at him as his friend listens in: "My hair & makeup are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done, I'm still in my pajamas and I can't be bothered with cooking tonight! What the hell did...

A recently hired Chinese office assistant got an expensive pen as a gift from her boss as a reward for excellent work. She sent him a 'Thank you' note on email. The boss's wife read the email and filed for divorce. The email read as follows: Mr. Griffiths-San Your p*nis wonderful. I...

A recent article in the Manchester Post reported that a woman, Anne Maynard, has sued St Luke’s Hospital, saying that after her husband was treated there recently, he had lost all interest in sex. A hospital spokesman replied, "Mr. Maynard was actually admitted in Ophthalmology - all we did...

On the first day of school, the children brought gifts for their teacher. The supermarket manager's daughter brought the teacher a basket of assorted fruit. The florist's son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers. The candy-store owner's daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy...

My Uncle Ted died yesterday. He had been suffering from a rare skin condition and in an effort to cure it the doctor smeared lots of grease all over his back. He went downhill very quickly after that.

Dorothy and Edna, two "senior" widows, are talking. Dorothy: "That nice George Johnson asked me out for a date. I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give him my answer." Edna: "Well, I'll tell you. He shows up at my apartment punctually at 7...

A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two bin bags behind her. One of the bags was torn and every now and again a £20 note fell out onto the pavement. Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, there are £20 notes falling out of your bag." "Oh...

Four guys have been going to the same fishing trip for many years. Two days before the group is to leave, Ron's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going. Ron's mates are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do. Two days later the three get to the camping site to find Ron...

A lot of folks can't understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in Britain. Well, there's a very simple answer. Nobody bothered to check the oil. We just didn't know we were getting low. The reason for that is purely geographical. The UK 's OIL is located in The North Sea and All...

Professor Higgins at the University of Sydney was giving a lecture on 'Involuntary Muscle Contraction' to the first year medical students. This was not an exciting subject and the professor decided to lighten up the mood. He pointed to a young woman in the front row and asked, 'Do you know...

May be a silly question, but is the Q3 available with an automatic box? What is "S-tronic (does this mean auto?) Is it available in petrol? Thanks in advance Malcolm

Boy, if this doesn't hit the nail on the head, I don't know what does! Two patients limp into two different medical clinics with the same complaint? Both have trouble walking and appear to require a hip replacement. The FIRST patient is examined within the hour, is x-rayed the same day and has...

A man had two of the best tickets for the Augusta Masters. As he sits down, another man comes along and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him.. "No", he says, "the seat is empty." "This is incredible!" said the man, "who in their right mind would have a seat like this, the...

Found on the the dining room table One Morning : My Dear Wife, You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you will not...

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young Mothers and their small children. 'You all have obsessions,' he observed. To the first mother, Mary, he said, 'You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy.' He turned to the second Mum, Ann: 'Your...

Thinking of adding another car to the fleet and was wondering about the BMW X1 - any forum members got / had one, what's the best spec to go for - any known problems? My buget is around 24k Thanks in advance