Do we have a joke thread?

[fangio]

Please move if this is in the wrong place.

A German guy approaches a prostitute. "I vish to buy sex vit you".

"OK" says the girl, "I'll charge €80 an hour".

"Ist goot, but I must varn you, I am a little kinky".

"No problem" she replies cautiously, "I can do a little kinky".

So off they go to the girl's flat, where the German produces four large
bedsprings and a duck caller.

"I vant you to tie ze springs to each of your limbs". The girl finds
This most odd, but complies, fastening the springs to her hands and knees.

"Now you vill get on your hans und knees" She duly does this, balancing
on the springs.

"You vill please blow zis vistle as I make love to you." She finds this
odd, but figures it's harmless, and the guy is paying.

It is fantastic. She is bounced all over the room by the energetic
German, all the time honking on the duck caller.

The climax is the most sensational that she has ever experienced, and
it is several minutes before she has recovered the breath to say:
"That was totally amazing, what do you call that?"

"Ah", says the German, "Four-sprung duck technique"

 

[Tfsi gone]

Heard that joke lots of times but funnier reading it on a forum...!
Will be moved to the General Chat forum mate.
Mods...

 

[Rideen]

Here's one Audi-related:

A lady walks into a Audi dealership. She browses around, spots the Top-of-the-line Audi A8 and walks over to inspect it.
As she bends over to feel the fine leather upholstery, she inadvertently breaks Wind.
Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn't pop up right now.
As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her.
Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, the salesman greets the lady With, "Good day, Madame. How may we help you today?"
Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman may just not have been there at the time of her accident, she asks, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?"

He answers, "Madam, if you farted just touching it, you are going to **** yourself when I tell you the price."

 

[sampsonzak]

The biggest joke of them all is the amount of cup holders in the 2009 A3 Sportback 5-door!

Very shocked when I bought it, drove it home and realized there was ONE!

 

[Rideen]

The biggest joke of them all is the amount of cup holders in the 2009 A3 Sportback 5-door!

Very shocked when I bought it, drove it home and realized there was ONE!

That is odd, my 2004 has 2

Old but gold:

I just saw an Audi driver using his indicators correctly on the motorway. Twice. Should I report the vehicle as stolen?

 

[sliced]

That is odd, my 2004 has 2

Old but gold:

I just saw an Audi driver using his indicators correctly on the motorway. Twice. Should I report the vehicle as stolen?

LOL! think there was a bmw version of that floating around too