I'm not an England fan, and I don't particularly like football, but I am South African, and I'm very competitive when it comes to sport. I can see your point, however:
1. If you're not playing to win, don't bother playing.
2. It's only football fans that do this, rugby fans still show respect.
3. The "boys"(don't forget the many woman that are there too) in Iraq are not forgotten, but if we don't take the opportunity to unite as a nation and enjoy the privileges we do have, then what are the boys fighting for. It's difficult for the nation to fly flags in support of the army when most of the country is against the war.
Since you asked for quick answers, I'm going to stop there, but I could write an essay if you so desired.
Like you, I'm also dissapointed with number 2. I've seen and met too many football fans that are just plain ugly, and not only in the looks department. Football is a gents game, watched by hooligans. Rugby is a hooligans game, watched by gents.