F1 season 2016 Humour?

[Bristle Hound]

Thing no one cares about splits from other thing no one cares about

Red Bull this week announced the end of its relationship with Infiniti, causing enormous disappointment amongst no one.

‘This is such a shame,’ said industry analyst Ian Dustryan-Allyst. ‘Red Bull has worked so hard to become no one’s favourite Formula 1 team and their status as perhaps one or two people’s third or fourth favourite at best made them a perfect fit for Infiniti who set a new benchmark in the luxury sector, as long as the only parameter you measured was complete disinterest.’

‘Put the two together,’ Dustryan-Allyst continued. ‘And you could see the results were, um… oh look, a pigeon.’

The effect of the split is sure to be have almost no repercussions for Red Bull who will continue in F1 now they’ve stopped mincing about pretending they don’t have an engine. For Infiniti, however, the effect could be more dramatic with some market guides forecasting a European sales drop of 75 percent leading to an estimated 2016 sales total of half a car.
http://sniffpetrol.com/2015/12/08/t...t-splits-from-other-thing-no-one-cares-about/

 

[Bristle Hound]

Hamilton trying even harder to be less likeable

After revealing snippets of his new music, Lewis Hamilton is to continue his quest to make it very hard to like him by setting up a mis-sold PPI cold calling business.

‘There’s still some people who, like, still, like, like me, hashtag like me, hashtag patience of a saint, hashtag blessed,’ the Brit racer admitted. ‘But I can like todally fix that by ringing their mobiles at, like, inconvenient times and asking if, like, they’d, like, like to talk about reclaiming mis-sold PPI. Hashtag payment protection insurance, hashtag is this a good time to talk, hashtag blessed.’

‘I can todally, like, combine my, like, constant ringing of your cellphone with my other off-putting projects. Hashtag fan repellent, hashtag unplaceable accent, hashtag brian blessed,’ the not Los Angeles born star continued. ‘For example, sneaking into your house and leaving a single TeamLH Lego brick right by your bed, hiding the cables but not the plugs for all your phone chargers, and advertising the insurance company Go Compare. Hashtag pain and irritation, hashtag please stop liking me, hashtag sunblest sliced bread.’

Sources close to the allegedly Rihanna-banging racer say if these off-season projects to make it extremely difficult to like him don’t work he may have to engage in the ultimate move to make it very, very hard to like him; changing his name to ‘Jacques Villeneuve’.
http://sniffpetrol.com/2015/12/15/hamilton-trying-even-harder-to-be-less-likeable/#.VnHL2cqSFAY

 

[45bvtc]

No idea what your sayin' Bristle Hound but I agree with the header...

Give that dog a bone...

NALF

 

[45bvtc]

Hamilton trying even harder to be less likeable

And with some success I'd say Bristle Hound judging by his USGP track parade seating:

 

[desertstorm]

Apparently he likes to be able to concentrate on connecting with the fans and not be distracted by the other drivers. A lot of the drivers talk amongst each other so are not able to give 100% attention to the fans.
In a way I can relate to some of what he is saying but it does make him look a bit sad and lonely. Raikonnen and Bottas are doing there best to connect with the fans in that picture above .

 

[45bvtc]

Apparently he likes to be able to concentrate on connecting with the fans and not be distracted by the other drivers. A lot of the drivers talk amongst each other so are not able to give 100% attention to the fans.
In a way I can relate to some of what he is saying but it does make him look a bit sad and lonely. Raikonnen and Bottas are doing there best to connect with the fans in that picture above .

Whatever your on Karl I'd like some... At least RS3copilot (a Hamilton fan) came up with a good excuse in that he was resting the bad foot he'd had all year - where did that suddenly come from. Back to Monaco 2017 and he had a similar if not the same seating position away from ALL of the other drivers and is why Johnny Herbert called him Mr. Grumpy to his face...
7-wins on the trot for Rosberg (at the end of 2015 and start of 2016) no wonder Hamilton's needing to be "connecting with the fans"

 

[45bvtc]

Raikonnen and Bottas are doing there best to connect with the fans in that picture above .

I mean, if you were an F1 driver 1-hour away from doing a 200-mile Grand Prix then I guess in your choice of things to do between now and then that riding on the back of an articulated trailer would not be one of 'em - but that's all part of the package they get paid for...