I don't know who needs the help; me or my son!

[Crazyfool]

Don't get me wrong, my 11 year old son is very athletic. Take him to a skate park and he will spend hours perfecting his scooter skills. He plays football for the local club, does endurance swimming, the list goes on...

Since he started high school he still does all the above, but compared to his mates in other schools, he doesn't seem to get half as much homework. As a consequence he arrives home at 3:30 and the TV goes on.

Unfortunately both my wife and I work full time and although my wife spends most of her week working from the study, she doesn't have the time to monitor his activities.

It also doesn't help, and it wasn't something I was specifically looking for, we bought a smart TV. He spend all his time watching absolute b@@@@@ks on YouTube. I've managed to disable the app, but the day after, I arrived home and he was watching Amazon TV instead! What that's also done is move him onto his phone or when he's worked out the iPad code, he's on that. In fact he's normally on a device and TV at the same time.

As soon as he doesn't have the TV and devices, he says he's bored!

It's like an addiction and it's driving me absolutely mental!

Help!!!!


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[Scottyg]

Unfortunately he is a normal 11 yr old kid. The easiest thing to do is to change the wifi password. If he wants to go on the internet then he earns the passcode. Limit it to whatever time you wish! Change the passcode everyday and he has to do a new chore or job before he gets it.
My 12 yr old is on FaceTime with her friends from when she comes in till bed! Isn't on websites etc, just interacting with her friends via her iPad. At this time of year I don't mind. From April through October we virtually never see her as she's out with her mates or at Gymnastics, Netball or dancing.

 

[Crazyfool]

Unfortunately he is a normal 11 yr old kid. The easiest thing to do is to change the wifi password. If he wants to go on the internet then he earns the passcode. Limit it to whatever time you wish! Change the passcode everyday and he has to do a new chore or job before he gets it.
My 12 yr old is on FaceTime with her friends from when she comes in till bed! Isn't on websites etc, just interacting with her friends via her iPad. At this time of year I don't mind. From April through October we virtually never see her as she's out with her mates or at Gymnastics, Netball or dancing.

That would be ideal, but we rely on wifi everyday for our Sonos system and work laptops, so it would become an inconvenience for us.


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[THQuattro]

Hi mate he sounds normal to me, if you chuck them in their room with no tv,pad or phone they just sit there with no clue what to do.

 

[Scottyg]

Don't know if you missed my point. You and your wife would have access as you would know the wifi password. Your son wouldn't so doesn't become an inconvenience to you as it's still always on!

 

[RAF_S7]

Depending on how tech savvy you are, you can set restrictions based on his MAC address within your internet router.

This for example could restrict his device(s) to access for a couple of hours a day, on whatever days/times you choose.

Just be aware that for today's kids, their lives revolve around internet access and social media, including for homework. I'd be more concerned about teaching them about "safe"access/use than restricting their access, which will only lead them to sneak access either at a friends house, or find away around any control you put in place.

Kids these days are often more tech savvy than their parents

 

[RAF_S7]

Don't know if you missed my point. You and your wife would have access as you would know the wifi password. Your son wouldn't so doesn't become an inconvenience to you as it's still always on!

This gets to be a real PITA very quickly - how many devices would you need to change the wifi password on every day?

Here's my list:

Smart phone (x3)
Smart TV (X3)
iPad
House Security system
Security Cameras
Sky Q boxes (x4)
X-Box
PS-4
Garage Door (yes seriously LOL)
Hue Lighting Hub
Nest Smoke detectors
Nest Thermostat
Front Door Bell

And I'm sure I've missed a few things off the list.....

We all live in a connected world these days - The Internet of Things - and some of us live in it more than others. Changing passwords on wifi access points can be a real issue, assuming you can even remember the admin password to get onto your router in the first place. First world problems.....

 

[Crazyfool]

This gets to be a real PITA very quickly - how many devices would you need to change the wifi password on every day?

Here's my list:

Smart phone (x3)
Smart TV (X3)
iPad
House Security system
Security Cameras
Sky Q boxes (x4)
X-Box
PS-4
Garage Door (yes seriously LOL)
Hue Lighting Hub
Nest Smoke detectors
Nest Thermostat
Front Door Bell

And I'm sure I've missed a few things off the list.....

We all live in a connected world these days - The Internet of Things - and some of us live in it more than others. Changing passwords on wifi access points can be a real issue, assuming you can even remember the admin password to get onto your router in the first place. First world problems.....

I was completely shocked when I went onto our access page and found out how many devices in the house relied on wifi!


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[Crazyfool]

Depending on how tech savvy you are, you can set restrictions based on his MAC address within your internet router.

This for example could restrict his device(s) to access for a couple of hours a day, on whatever days/times you choose.

Just be aware that for today's kids, their lives revolve around internet access and social media, including for homework. I'd be more concerned about teaching them about "safe"access/use than restricting their access, which will only lead them to sneak access either at a friends house, or find away around any control you put in place.

Kids these days are often more tech savvy than their parents

I like the idea of restricting access, but I'm gonna have to buy myself a dummies guide!!

We've literally just bought the latest BT hub (6) because our 3 kept on dropping out, so I'm not sure how flexible it is.


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[Raiden]

Kids these days have it so easy. My nephew is like it when he is at home or at nans house.

But when he stays with me he now knows he ain't at a holiday camp. I get him doing house hold chores and tell him he can help me clean the cars. If he says no then he gets very restricted access to my devices and no treats. You just tell them get your backside into gear or you can just stare at a wall for hours on end. Seriously what can they physically do? After about a hour of boredom doing some hard work passes the time and they end up learning something.

Last year one of my rental flats needed a clean and clear out so I told him theres £20 for you if you do some work for. His eyes lit up but boy I worked him like a dog. Surprising what kids can do when pushed in the right direction.

 

[Crazyfool]

Kids these days have it so easy. My nephew is like it when he is at home or at nans house.

But when he stays with me he now knows he ain't at a holiday camp. I get him doing house hold chores and tell him he can help me clean the cars. If he says no then he gets very restricted access to my devices and no treats. You just tell them get your backside into gear or you can just stare at a wall for hours on end. Seriously what can they physically do? After about a hour of boredom doing some hard work passes the time and they end up learning something.

Last year one of my rental flats needed a clean and clear out so I told him theres £20 for you if you do some work for. His eyes lit up but boy I worked him like a dog. Surprising what kids can do when pushed in the right direction.

Isn't that child labour?

He doesn't need much sleep to function and normally falls asleep just before we go to bed, sometimes after. Last night my wife made him read to her whilst she was in the bath, then she continued to read to him. He went to bed and was out of it at least an hour and a half before we retired for the evening....amazing!


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[Scottyg]

That's what lack of access does.

To be bluntly honest, I couldn't care less how many things are linked to wifi. If you want to affect a change in behaviour you do whatever it takes or you simply put up with the status quo.
I see the consequences of kids use of the internet, social media in particular. The damage it does to their personalities, their education, their friendships and their home life.
Personally, it doesn't happen in my house. Yes, they get access to the internet but, and it's a big but, if I see a change in their behaviour, attitude or school work then it's totally restricted.
Kids are not kids very long these days, the internet is just another example of something that erodes if faster!

 

[Crazyfool]

That's what lack of access does.

To be bluntly honest, I couldn't care less how many things are linked to wifi. If you want to affect a change in behaviour you do whatever it takes or you simply put up with the status quo.
I see the consequences of kids use of the internet, social media in particular. The damage it does to their personalities, their education, their friendships and their home life.
Personally, it doesn't happen in my house. Yes, they get access to the internet but, and it's a big but, if I see a change in their behaviour, attitude or school work then it's totally restricted.
Kids are not kids very long these days, the internet is just another example of something that erodes if faster!

I agree with you. It's amazing how much better he gets on with his younger brother when they are both on a ban. A day is no good, but over a week it's a marked difference.


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[Jake 61]

I'm just glad my 'kids' are in their thirties.....!

 

[Nilz]

Unfortunately this is the norm nowadays, my lad is 7 and is getting very tech savvy and also watching absoloute rubbish on youtube too, him and his friends lives revolve around electronic devices now!!

Very annoying, as already mentioned you can see the difference in attitude and behaviour, we just remove all access for a few weeks and make him realise that there is more to do than playing on ipads and phones!!

He is currently on a ban and we went out to eat last night and it was nice as he didnt mention once that he wanted to play on our phones, instead he played with the kids pack at the restaurant which was really nice as we all got involved.

Sadly this is the way it is with all kids nowadays and something we are going to have to get used to.

Also as mentioned already you can disable certain devices from your wifi by mac address and you can also disable it within certain time ranges too. Worth looking into this option, as you can all still remain on the network, just restrict access for the others.

 

[Crazyfool]

Says it all!

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[Scottyg]

Very true.

 

[Bob R]

Yeh kids...............before you know it he will be spending hours a week on an Audi forum . Ha, my two who are 13 and 16 need wifi along with food, drink and warmth. If the internet goes down they are devastated.

It's the way of the world unfortunately. As long as they are not coming to any harm then I allow them as much internet time as I want.

 

[Raiden]

Hats off to you guys with kids. Don't know how you do it. My sister and brother in law are just useless so there kids spend a lot of time with me and my wife. I never signed up for this LOL


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[davc]

With a 5,6 and 8 yr old I can totally relate to what's been said here

My wife and I adopt a similar approach to Scottyg and his missus - if behaviour gets out of hand and we get bad attitude from them or school work suffers, we take away their tablets and remove the fire TV stick for a week at a time. It certainly does the job.

Over time it has sunk in but you have to rule with a heavy hand.

 

[Samuel c5 Q]

I had a lock knife when I was eleven. Used to go in to the woods making bow and arrows with my cousin. We were like lord of the flies until he broke mine. I'm sure that didn't help but there you go.

 

[Scottk]

My kids are a bit older at 16 and almost 18. The eldest is at uni but our 16yo son is internet mad. He is gaming with iPad on and on the iPhone at the same time but we don't have much to moan about as he does his homework first. It's always worse at this time of year when the weather is rubbish and it's dark when he arrives home. Through the summer he spends most of his time on the golf course and the devices get forgotten about (except iPhone which is always busy).
We are lucky but a couple of out friends have had bad problems with their sons becoming reclusive and dripping out. Seems to be more a boy thing.

 

[Crazyfool]

The latest antic was he went to bed and pretended he had his phone. It was actually in the kitchen charging. He we had said goodnight and went downstairs, he snuck down and got it.

We only discovered the phone had done disappeared when we went to bed. The next day, I turned the wifi off totally until he went to bed. His phone was locked in the study drawer.


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[Crazyfool]

Oh my word, it's Christmas again...I pave finally worked out how to control access. As the boys would say...BOOM!!!


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[Raiden]

this guy hit the nail on the head


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[DeanoC]

My 11 year old son is the same. Any activity beyond looking at a screen seems to require an adult's intervention.

Mine is on his phone the most and I did come up with a nice little system that is easier than controlling the wifi. He charges his phone downstairs at night and then i hide the chargers. I let him go on his phone whenever he wants other than at the meal table or stuff like that. He has control and there is no parent telling him to get off his phone but when the battery is gone it's gone and he is forced to find something else to do.

It is so frustrating. I remember being out as long as the sun was up with nothing more than a ball and a bike. My kids now go like zombies even though we have a huge garden with a wood at the end and every outside activity imaginable. Sad times.

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[A4A4]

One of my pet hates now is seeing really young kids in prams with a phone or tablet glued to the faces.
What happened to interaction with Mum & Dad?

Don't get me wrong my 13 year old Son is part of this mutli-media culture but when had full control at a younger age. It was easier to interact without the use of giving him a phone/tablet to keep him quiet or happy.

At least for now in the winter months, when he goes on PS4 network he is still communicating with his friends. But this is only for a few hours or it can again get out of hand.

I guess this is how the world is now and as technology grows more does our dependencies to it.

 

[Crazyfool]

I refuse to buy a PS4 or XBOX and I've told my son that. He spends enough time in front of a screen, he doesn't need another excuse.

His friend has changed secondary school because he was having travel difficulties. His new school requires them to have iPads; which at the time sounded almost like a good idea. However listening to him talking to my son on the way to football practice the other night, he was saying that in his previous school they spent their breaks playing football, etc. In the new school, the kids are only interested in playing iPad games!


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[Crazyfool]

I've just returned from friends. Their kids are on a ban and he's using OurPact – Parental Control & Screen Time Manager by Eturi Corp.
https://appsto.re/gb/Kvv34.i

Ive just installed it and paired up my sons phone to my account, switched it on and all his iPhone apps have disappeared! It only operates as a phone now.

You can set times and dates and if you upgrade you can set various operational windows. My son is not best pleased!


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[DeanoC]

I tried that. Took the older 2 less than an hour to work out how to remove the management system

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[Crazyfool]

My son packed his bag and walked out the door.

He packed really well,; he even remembered his alarm clock


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[Scottyg]

@Raiden that YouTube link is fantastic. I've saved it to use with my seniors at school. Another one for the 20 somethings on here is this one.....

 

[Scottyg]

@Crazyfool @Raiden @devo

My mate, who now lives in OZ is about to embark on a PHD study into teenage social behaviour and Social medias impact. He works for a private education behaviours company delivering courses to schools, businesses and government depts. His study will last approx two years but I'll be looking forward to seeing the finished product.

 

[Raiden]

Over Xmas me and the wife went to London for the day and on the way home our train was delayed for 30 mins. The train driver said we are going to be stuck here a while so to pass the time you could talk to the stranger next to you? I am pretty sure they are not a alien or a axe murderer. But if you are really afraid to talk to them then just play with your phone or put your head phones in and avoid eye contact. Did make me laugh

 

[Crazyfool]

Over Xmas me and the wife went to London for the day and on the way home our train was delayed for 30 mins. The train driver said we are going to be stuck here a while so to pass the time you could talk to the stranger next to you? I am pretty sure they are not a alien or a axe murderer. But if you are really afraid to talk to them then just play with your phone or put your head phones in and avoid eye contact. Did make me laugh

Some of the train guards on South West trains into London are hilarious. It really brightens up the journey.


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[Crazyfool]

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/family/will-happen-take-childs-phone-away/


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